How to Help Teens Develop Identity, Inclusion, and Community in School

A diverse group of Rock Point School students play in a pile of leaves on campus in Burlington, Vermont. Students are rolling in the leaves, throwing leaves in the air, and having fun together.

Adolescence is a time of enormous growth and self-discovery. As teens navigate who they are, how they fit in, and what matters to them, they need guidance and support—especially from the adults in their lives. For parents, this journey can feel both rewarding and challenging. How do you help your teen build confidence in their identity, find belonging, and form meaningful relationships?

Schools play a crucial role in shaping these experiences. A supportive school environment can help teens feel valued, understood, and empowered to be themselves. At Rock Point School, we prioritize identity development, inclusion, and community-building to ensure every student has a place where they feel safe and celebrated. Here’s how parents can support their teens, locate helpful resources—and what to look for in a school that does the same.

Understanding Teen Identity Development

Your teen is learning who they are—and that process is ongoing. Some teens have a strong sense of identity early on and seek validation in a community that appreciates them. Others are still exploring, testing different aspects of their personality, interests, and values. This self-discovery is a normal part of growing up and can be influenced by factors like family, culture, friendships, and personal experiences.

How Parents Can Support Their Teen’s Identity Development

✔ Create a judgment-free zone. Let your teen know they can talk to you about their thoughts, feelings, and experiences without fear of criticism.

✔ Encourage exploration. Whether it’s trying a new hobby, joining a club, or meeting different people, give your teen the freedom to explore who they are.

✔ Respect their evolving identity. Teens may try on different labels or change their perspectives over time. Show them that you support them no matter where their journey takes them.

As one of our students, Amaris (Class of 2021), shared:

“It has been so special to come to a place where I have been accepted for who I am. I’ve always been me … For the first time in my life, it has been celebrated!”

Why Inclusion Matters in Your Teen’s School Experience

For teens to thrive, they need to feel included. Feeling like an outsider—because of differences in culture, gender, sexual orientation, neurodivergence, or background—can be isolating and even impact academic success. According to the National Association of Independent Schools (NAIS), students in inclusive environments are more engaged, perform better academically, and develop stronger social-emotional skills.

At Rock Point School, we foster inclusion by:

Teaching students to understand and respect different perspectives.
Creating spaces where every student feels heard and valued. Holding firm expectations for kindness and respect, ensuring that bullying has no place in our community.
Parents can reinforce these values at home by encouraging conversations about diversity and helping their teens recognize the importance of treating others with empathy and respect.

Satyr, a Rock Point graduate from the Class of 2023, shared:

“In my two years at Rock Point, I found a place where I truly felt like I belonged. I have never in my life felt more safe among my peers in a class.”

Chalk art done at the front steps of Rock Point School. The art reads "Welcome to RPS (Rock Point School) You are Loved"

Building Strong Relationships: The Key to Confidence and Resilience

One of the most important factors in a teen’s well-being is feeling connected—to peers, mentors, and trusted adults. Studies from the Harvard Center on the Developing Child (2023) emphasize that strong relationships help teens navigate stress, build confidence, and develop a sense of purpose.

What You Can Do to Help Your Teen Build Strong Connections

✔ Encourage them to seek out supportive friendships. Talk with your teen about what makes a good friend and how to recognize healthy relationships.

✔ Help them connect with mentors. A supportive teacher, coach, or school advisor can make a lasting impact.

✔ Promote activities that foster connection. Clubs, sports, volunteer work, and creative outlets can help teens find like-minded peers.

For students who have struggled to find belonging elsewhere, a small, inclusive school environment can be transformative. Ben, Class of 2024, shared:

“It’s also helped that many of my peers have gone through some of the same things I’ve dealt with, so I know I have people I can talk to about my struggles.”

Final Thoughts: Helping Your Teen See the Whole Picture

Your teen’s journey of self-discovery is ongoing, and they need your support along the way. When parents and schools work together to foster identity, inclusion, and community, teens are better equipped to navigate the challenges of adolescence with confidence.
At Rock Point School, we focus on creating an environment where students feel valued for who they are today and supported as they grow into who they’re becoming. By choosing a school and home environment that prioritizes belonging, you’re giving your teen the best foundation for success—academically, socially, and emotionally.